April 18, 2002 - 2:41 p.m.

It's official: I will no longer be a wedding photographer's assistant.

Sunday was just too much to take. I assisted Bernie, the owner of the studio, this time. He was pompous and annoying (singing the "Can't Get You Out of My Head" Kylie Minogue song over and over and over and over). Instead of communicating things to me, he would ignore my requests and then attempt to humiliate me when I didn't do whatever it was he wanted.

For example, he would gesture for me to follow him downstairs in the bride's house. I would ask him if he wanted his camera bag and tripod, as well, and he would ignore me. Then, after I followed him down the stairs, he would yell at me for not bringing said bag and tripod. And he readily acknowledged that he was doing this. I don't appreciate being "broken in" for the hell of it. The sad part is that sometimes he didn't want his gear, so there was no way for me to know the right or wrong answer to this.

He just wanted someone to humiliate (his own word). All I can say is POWER TRIP.

I almost forgot: We drove around Melbourne in his convertible black Porsche. He has two other cars, I learned, one of which is a Rolls Royce. Poor little wedding photographer. Boo hoo hoo.

In other news, I've been going to a lot of go-sees lately. A "go-see" occurs when a modeling agency sends you out to see a photographer that the agency readily works with. This way, they keep you in mind for future jobs or maybe even free photo shoots. While this is a good practice, it's very tiring and rarely produces work in the near future. My feet are very tired. The upside is that I am getting reacquainted with Melbourne and its many suburbs.

Tonight is the opening of an underground comic-book exhibition that my friend Gregory is a part of. Simon has to work, so I'm taking the bus by myself, which is about an hour each way. Let's just hope the St. Kilda bus depot isn't as shady as I remember.

Tomorrow: DRIVING LESSONS! Please be scared for me. Maybe I should outline my fears for you:
Road: cars drive on left side
Steering wheel: on right side of car
Stick shift: must be operated with left hand, yet still goes from left (1st gear) to right (5th, reverse)
Turn-signal indicator: right side of steering wheel
Windshield wiper control: left side of steering wheel

I still don't know how to make a hook turn, either.