July 15, 2002 - 5:23 p.m.

i came home for lunch and called my dad. he'd left me an e-mail about not being able to insure a very expensive package he just sent, and i wanted to clear everything up.

i ended up talking to my mom and actually yelled at her because i was so upset. she told me that my oldest brother had recently agreed to be in a performance back home that would make him unable to arrive in australia until the day before my wedding, leaving a 3 1/2-day visit. my other brother is already trying to pull a 2 1/2-day tour of australia, which really makes me angry. i've let it go, however, because said brother usually makes me angry. this new development, however, added another level of frustration.

when we first talked about the wedding, terry told me it would be a problem because he and his wife wanted to go to hawaii at that time, and it would be too close to their hawaii time. this, mind you, was far in advance of their plans.

hello! they are getting free plane tickets to australia from my parents. they have never been to australia. they had been to hawaii many times before and could just as easily change the date.

when i was living at my parents' house, terry and katie would constantly talk about how we had to hang out more often, and i can't tell you the number of times they flaked on me. this is just adding salt to the wound.

benton's fiance, michele, on the other hand, has decided to go to italy for 8 days, so she can only go to australia for 2 1/2. benton refuses to take more than two days off of work. he's been working at the same place for four years now, and he has yet to take a holiday. benton, michele, terry and katie's plans have all occurred recently, much after the announcement of the official wedding date. it's not like they haven't known - trust me. part of the wedding-date choice was the assurance that everyone could be there and take time off of work easily. i guess i'm not such a hight priority.

apparently, my family members think that australia is just an ugly, faraway, expensive place and that i am creating a burden. what makes me even madder is that i feel the need to entertain them for the time they are here. if you are in a foreign country for only 2 to 3 days and have jet lag, and i am trying to make a wedding happen, at least one of us is going to be very disappointed.

then, when i told my mom about the tin pot cafe (the cafe down the street where the reception will probably be held), she sounded rather unamused. i explained that the decor was eclectic (i.e. the tables and chairs are colorful and don't match), but that we were getting desperate and that the tennis club is our only other researched option right now. then she heavily suggested we use tablecloths. i'm confident this place does not have tablecloths for every table. so she suggested we buy them. i am not going to add tablecloths to the already-skimp wedding budget! "well, it needs to look like a wedding," she said. at which point, i started fuming. then i got upset about them putting pressure on us, when we are working as fast as we can. i yelled at her to just make the reservations, and we would work the details out. i understand her point of view, but it is so frustrating trying to get everything done when simon and i only see each other for 15 minutes each day. it's not like we will be absolutely venue-less. we can use a backyard if we have to. it will get done. i just can't stand them pressuring me to make it happen this instant, and then having them blame me for more expensive airfare later, when things have been confirmed.

that's when simon took the phone, and i stormed into the bathroom in tears. i went to work all red and puffy. i don't yell at my mom, mind you. i asked simon to call them while i was at work, and he said things went more smoothly. in the meantime, i'm exhausted from my little outburst, so i think i'll go to sleep, thank you very much.