08 October 2003 - 8:13 a.m.

i have quite a few things to gripe about in this here diary. i've found it difficult to do, though, when so many of the people i love are hurting. it really turns the tables when you realize that your pain, in fact, is not so very painful or frustrating at all.

in any case, the short and sweet lowdown on the newspaper is that it takes WAY more time to produce than what's written out in my contract. the good news is they finally realized it as well (and apologized profusely). the bad news is that the contract has yet to be amended. there's supposed to be some big meeting at head office tomorrow about this very topic -without me, i might add.

i'm currently slated to work one 8-hour day per week, which adds up to 16 hours a fortnight. my last timesheet was for a whopping 52 hours. i spent friday, saturday and sunday working on this paper for 16 hours at a time, after a full week at the call centre. to say that i was tired is a gross understatement. it's probably wise to add that murphy's law prevailed again - everything that possibly could have gone wrong did.

* computer not delivered until two weeks before absolute deadline

* computer came with design program unfamiliar to me, so i had to learn how to do everything all over again

* computer crashed - design program rendered inoperable

* had to go to adviser's house to start from scratch and create on other design program - an illegal copy with illegally obtained fonts

* after paper was finished, CD burner and zip drive went kaput. unable to save file. unable to e-mail file to printer, either

frankly, the only thing that didn't go awry was the printing process. they did a fabulous job, and the paper looks great. there are a few minor nerdy things i'll meet with the printer about to fix, but they mostly had to do with my naivete about specific instructions i needed to give. this is a very good learning experience for me, i must say, and it helps to have a friendly, cheap and reliable printer.

knowing full well that this job requires at *least* two days a week (i've been saying three days for awhile, but no one is listening - you heard it here first), and knowing that i will need to put in overtime above and beyond the two days for at least the next two issues (did i mention my design program at work is still kaput and that i have to start from scratch again?), i asked my supervisor at the call centre for a reduction in days. i was told it's a no-go. i just can't work seven days a week, even if it is only for a few months. i've got my health and sanity to think about. i'll wait for the contract to be amended before i give my notice, but it looks like i won't be stuck in the call centre much longer. i am just not cut out for sales, kids, and when they start putting the sales pressure on, i wholeheartedly lose interest. in fact, i tune them out.

i'm guessing i'd fill my extra days with modeling or free-lancing, or maybe temping again. who knows. all i know is that i wish i would've given notice sooner - i only just realized that i'll still be stuck in both jobs when my birthday rolls around (a saturday). this inevitably means i'll be pulling another nightmare deadline weekend that i can't get out of just so issue 2 can go to print. if you're wondering why i didn't invite you over for birthday celebrations, it's because i was too busy staring at a computer screen, wishing i was sleeping.