January 15, 2003 - 11:53 a.m.

i went to fetch the mail and found the latest copy of The Melbourne Times in our front yard. i opened it up to have a read and couldn't believe it when i saw this statement in an article:

Yarra Council is also believed to be considering a trial of a small nuclear power reactor on land surrounding Fitzroy's Atherton Gardens public housing estate. Councillor Barber said the Greens' blanket rejection of nuclear power had served the party well in the past, but was "just not viable in the real world". He said industry studies had showed nuclear power to be clean and green.

i then went on to read the following in another section, in light of our current drought situation:

Melbourne City Council has urged locals to do their bit for the city's thirsty flora by urinating on the trees on their nature strips. Residents will be encouraged to restrict weeing to between 10pm and 7am to reduce evaporation.

i read it out to simon in disbelief. "if they put a nuclear power plant in fitzroy, you'd better believe i'll jump up and down like a monkey and kick some people," i said. "and pee isn't that good for plants! animal pee usually kills grass."

then i read something that casually referenced michael jackson's purchase of luna park, our beloved fun park. "WHAAAAAA????" i exclaimed. "what is this, an april fools' issue?" we flipped to the front cover, which said "silly summer: lies, fibs and deceit edition". ha ha ha, big sigh. oh good.

my ear "nuisance" has turned into an infection, but i can't get in to see the doctor until tomorrow afternoon. i plan to numb the pain by watching purple rain on dvd. we've got free passes to see human nature tonight, too, just in case i need some more brain cells vaporized.